Adam Martin

The Last of the Flying Bounders

Mr Daniels knocked on the door for the second time. He was not used to being ignored and if this had been any of his student charges he would probably have ordered the door removed at this point. This however was a child’s parent and a female no less.

“Miss Ranshaw if you don’t open the door there is no way we can resolve the situation.”

He tried to keep his tone calm and even but his face turned a deeper shade of crimson every second his time was being wasted.

“Miss Ranshaw you must open this door or I will be forced to take drastic action.”

From behind the locked door Mr Daniels heard a toilet flush. The impertinence of the woman and her bladder only enraged him further. He mused for a moment that it might be her bowels that were enraging him and he calmed for a second. But bowels were not enough to placate Mr Daniels and he soon composed himself and struck the door for what he assumed would be the final time. He was about to roll out his killer weapon.

“If you do not open this door in the next minute I will break this door down.”

Silence from behind the door.

“I am not joking Miss Ranshaw. What your son may or may not have done is irrelevant at this point. Even if the hamster had survived you are making a nuisance of yourself and I won’t stand for it.”

Once again the only sound that came from the wooden women’s water closet was the whistling of the wind.

“Very well you have brought this on yourself.”

Mr Daniels took a step back, but couldn’t see any of his staff around to tell them to break the door. Resigned to his fate he took off his teaching fez, lowered his shoulder and conjured memories of his days as one of the Wembley gymnastics second string reserves (They had been known as the flying bounders).

He bent his knee and launched toward the door. A moment before impact Mr Daniels broke into a happy and excited smile at the idea that his actions would be known throughout the school this time tomorrow and his reputation as a proper educator would be set in stone. And perhaps it might have been the case if Miss Ranshaw had not chosen that exact moment to open the door.

The eyes of the educator and crying mother only met for a second and it would be hard to say who had the more confused expression.

The head master dreaming of a future filled with fearful children and the re-telling of this tale over the good brandy with the head of Ofsted. Or the emotional mother worried for the future of her son and the expense of getting a frozen hamster corpse out of a plumbing system.

To this day Miss Ranshaw claims that she reached out a hand to grab Mr Daniels but the truth is that she was far too surprised by the thundering educator to do anything about it.

Mr Daniels proved three things that day. Firstly despite his age he could still build up a fine running speed. Secondly that replacing old windows is a very important part of any modern school. Third, despite being a former flying bounder, he could not in fact, fly.


About the author:

I graduated in 2011 with a degree in Creative Writing.
My dream is to a be a screenwriter, so  If anyone out there has a spare movie studio but no scripts please give me a call.

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