AS THE AUDIENCE ENTERS THE AUDITORIUM, THE SOUNDS OF PASSENGER PLANES LANDING CAN BE HEARD. WHEN THE CROWD ARE SEATED, A TANNOY ANNOUNCEMENT IS MADE.
TANNOY KLM apologises for the delay to flight 786 from Amsterdam. The estimated arrival time is now 2240.
THE LIGHTS GO UP.
CENTRE STAGE IS A TABLE. ON THE TABLE THERE IS A TIN OF PASTEL CRAYONS, AND A PIECE OF PAPER. UPSTAGE LEFT IS A LARGE RUBBISH BIN NEXT TO A SIGN POINTING TO ARRIVALS GATE. UPSTAGE RIGHT IS A LINE OF EMPTY AIRPORT SEATING. TRACTOR, A 26 YEAR OLD IRISH MAN, IS SAT AT THE TABLE. HE IS WEARING A HOODIE, JEANS, TRAINERS AND A HAT HELD ON WITH HUGE HEADPHONES. AT HIS FEET IS A BATTERED HOLDALL. HIS HEAD IS BOBBING TO A TUNE ONLY HE CAN HEAR. TRACTOR IS DRAWING, WITH THE PASTEL CRAYONS, ONTO THE PAPER. TRACTOR LOOKS UP FROM HIS COLOURING, LOOKS DOWN, LOOKS UP AGAIN, REALISES HE HAS SEEN SOMEONE. HE QUICKLY STARTS PUTTING ALL THE CRAYONS BACK IN THE TIN. HE THEN PUTS THE TIN IN HIS BAG. HE THEN HIDES HIS COLOURING UNDER THE TABLE, ON HIS KNEE.
SMALLTIME BADBOY MOXY 24, SCOUSER DRESSED LIKE TRACTOR, ENTERS STAGE RIGHT. TRACTOR REMOVES HEADPHONES.
TRACTOR Moxy, where the feck have you been? You should have been here over an hour ago.
MOXY Pleased to see you too Tractor.
TRACTOR Feck off.
MOXY SITS DOWN OPPOSITE TRACTOR. TRACTOR LOOKS AT HIS WATCH.
TRACTOR Higgy said you’d be here before nine. It’s nearly ten.
MOXY That’s public transport for you, mate.
TRACTOR You not driving that old banger, anymore?
MOXY Fuck you. That’s a classic car, not a banger.
MOXY Okay, so it’s done a few miles, but it’s still in good nick.
TRACTOR Good nick! It doesn’t have matching doors.
MOXY Well I’m getting some next week, (PAUSE) hopefully.
MOXY TRIES TO LOOK UNDER THE TABLE TO SEE WHAT TRACTOR WAS DOING. TRACTOR LEANS OVER TO HIDE THE DRAWING.
MOXY What you been up to?
MOXY You sure? You look nervous.
TRACTOR Never mind me, what took you so long?
MOXY I was doing a bit of business.
TRACTOR Business? That’s a laugh. Still selling Smarties at the youth club?
MOXY Get stuffed. I was doing some business in China town.
MOXY Supply and demand.
TRACTOR I heard you were delivering for the Golden Dragon again.
MOXY Look, it helps me get round to people, meet new clients.
TRACTOR Delivering fecking take aways is not doing business.
MOXY The Dragon does other business besides take aways, you know.
TRACTOR Tell me you are joking.
MOXY I get ten percent, and I also get rid of some stuff myself.
TRACTOR You’re insane? If Higgy finds out you’re dead.
MOXY He won’t. Any road, I’m not dropping everything, just because Higgy says so.
MOXY Yeah, really. He don’t scare me.
TRACTOR You’re either brave or stupid, and I’m pretty sure you’re not brave.
MOXY Fuck Off. Who stepped in when the Flynn’s decided to kick off the other week?
TRACTOR The Flynns!!!! I’ve got a seven year old niece who can sort the Flynn’s out. Jesus Moxy.
TANNOY Would all passengers ensure they do not leave luggage unattended.
MOXY LOOKS AROUND
MOXY Who’s she talking to? There’s nobody here.
TRACTOR Anyway, has Higgy briefed you?
MOXY He just said I’ve got to meet some mule flying in from Holland.
TRACTOR Keep your voice down.
TRACTOR and MOXY, NOT VERY SUBTLY, LOOK AROUND.
TRACTOR Did he say anything else?
MOXY No, he just said you’d fill me in.
TRACTOR Don’t fecking tempt me. Look, the woman was due nine hours ago from Amsterdam, but the flight was delayed.
MOXY Looks like she’s stood you up mate.
TRACTOR Always got something smart to say, haven’t you?
MOXY Got an NVQ in it mate.
TRACTOR Well she’s due in, in forty minutes.
TRACTOR All you do is stand at the barrier with your bunch of daffs. She’ll approach you. Then you take her to Higgy’s. He’ll be waiting.
MOXY Bunch a daffs?
TRACTOR Yeah. That’s the sign.
MOXY What sign?
TRACTOR That you’re her transport. For Christ’s sake Moxy, keep up.
MOXY And where the fuck do I get a bunch of daffs from?
TRACTOR Have you not brought any?
MOXY Have I fuck. Nobody told me I needed any.
TRACTOR You’re screwed then.
MOXY What am I going to do?
TRACTOR You’ll have to use your fecking NVQ.
MOXY Fuck off.
TRACTOR STANDS AND BENDS DOWN TO PICK UP HIS BAG. MOXY GRABS FOR THE BAG. TRACTORS COLOURING FALLS ON THE FLOOR.
TRACTOR Get off.
MOXY You must have had a bunch. What did you do with em?
TRACTOR WRESTLES THE BAG OUT OF MOXY’S GRIP.
TRACTOR They’re in the bin. They died hours ago.
MOXY Where did you get them from?
TRACTOR Florists just down there.
TRACTOR POINTS STAGE RIGHT
MOXY Thank fuck for that.
MOXY JUMPS UP AND RUNS OFF. TRACTOR PICKS UP HIS COLOURING, SCREWS IT UP, RUNS TO THE BIN AND THROWS IT IN. HE THEN RETURNS TO THE TABLE AND WAITS. MOXY RETURNS.
MOXY It’s shut.
TRACTOR I know.
MOXY Why didn’t you tell me?
TRACTOR You never asked.
MOXY You Muppet. If you knew it was closing, why didn’t you buy some more?
TRACTOR If you’d have been here on time, they would still have
TRACTOR LEANS IN CLOSE TO MOXY
TRACTOR Then you could have bought your fecking own.
TRACTOR STARTS TO WALK AWAY.
TRACTOR See you around Moxy.
MOXY WATCHES TRACTOR LEAVE. HE RUNS OVER TO THE RUBBISH BIN. HE STARTS ROOTING THROUGH IT. RUBBISH FALLS ON THE FLOOR. THE BIN HAS NO FLOWERS IN.
MOXY You lying bastard. You didn’t put em in the bin.
MOXY NOTICES TRACTORS SCREWED UP COLOURING ON THE FLOOR. HE UNRAVELS IT. IT IS A PASTEL DRAWING OF A BUNCH OF DAFFODILLS. MOXY LOOKS UP TO SEE TRACTOR, AND SMILES.
MOXY Cheers pal.
MOXY MOVES BACK TO THE TABLE TO STRAIGHTEN OUT THE DRAWING. HE HOLDS IT UP TO MAKE SURE THEIR PICTURE IS CLEAR. MOXY TURNS AND LOOKS UPSTAGE LEFT. HE STARTS TO WALK TOWARDS ARRIVALS.
TANNOY KLM apologises for the delay to flight 786 from Amsterdam. The estimated arrival time is now 2310.